I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
