The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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