i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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