Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
