HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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