your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
