even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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