I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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