I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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