It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
