i would punch a child for taco bell
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
