What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
