my phone needs a breathalizer
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
