there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
