If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
