i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
