I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
