don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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