Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize