I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize