Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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