Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
