We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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