we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize