we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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