is your mom at the bar?
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
