yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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