Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
