We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
