I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
