Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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