i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
