I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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