yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
