I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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