Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
