He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
