i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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