True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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