We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
