eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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