Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize