Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
