I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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