thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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