don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
