Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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