How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
