I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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