i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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