Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
