He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
