My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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