Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
