Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
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Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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