Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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